A Message to Parents from Sue:
When you read the typical ‘how to get your kids to behave’ book, you’d think that the author was a saint. Either that, or they don’t have kids of their own (step forward, Gina Ford!). Because often their advice fails to take account of the fact that you’re a normal human being, with lots of strengths but also plenty of weaknesses. That you won’t always get it right. It’s my belief that what both parents and teachers need is honest, realistic and above all else practical advice that they can actually put into practise in their own messy, complicated, busy, real lives. And that’s what I aim to give my readers, both in my books and on this website.
Being a teacher is a stressful job, but in my experience it’s often more stressful being a parent. The thing is, as a parent they’re your kids, and you don’t get to send them home when the school bell goes. Plus you’ve got all that emotional stuff going on which you don’t have as a teacher. When I go into schools to talk with the staff, I often ask for a show of hands as to who finds it harder to deal with their own kids, than with 30 of someone else’s. And you know what? Every time, a sea of hands shoot up into the air. So, my straw poll provides pretty strong (although admittedly not scientific) evidence that even experienced teachers, who’ve had years of dealing with misbehaviour, still find it hard work being parents.
Of course it’s not all doom and gloom, even for those parents whose children are being really difficult. Hopefully, most or at least some of the time you get on well with your kids. And even when you’re rowing, you still love them more than anything else in the whole wide world. Helping your child learn how to behave is one of the most important jobs you have to do as a parent. You’ve got to try to instil in them a sense of confidence, a feeling of self worth and self esteem, an understanding of appropriate boundaries, a sense of empathy and respect for others, and all those other qualities that go together to make up a fully rounded human being.
It ain’t easy. But then not much in life that’s easy is particularly rewarding. Have a look at the tips on my website and in my books, and try to stick with it until they work. And if you’re finding things a real struggle, feel free to contact me I’ll write back with some additional bits of advice.
Sue Cowley
Being a teacher is a stressful job, but in my experience it’s often more stressful being a parent. The thing is, as a parent they’re your kids, and you don’t get to send them home when the school bell goes. Plus you’ve got all that emotional stuff going on which you don’t have as a teacher. When I go into schools to talk with the staff, I often ask for a show of hands as to who finds it harder to deal with their own kids, than with 30 of someone else’s. And you know what? Every time, a sea of hands shoot up into the air. So, my straw poll provides pretty strong (although admittedly not scientific) evidence that even experienced teachers, who’ve had years of dealing with misbehaviour, still find it hard work being parents.
Of course it’s not all doom and gloom, even for those parents whose children are being really difficult. Hopefully, most or at least some of the time you get on well with your kids. And even when you’re rowing, you still love them more than anything else in the whole wide world. Helping your child learn how to behave is one of the most important jobs you have to do as a parent. You’ve got to try to instil in them a sense of confidence, a feeling of self worth and self esteem, an understanding of appropriate boundaries, a sense of empathy and respect for others, and all those other qualities that go together to make up a fully rounded human being.
It ain’t easy. But then not much in life that’s easy is particularly rewarding. Have a look at the tips on my website and in my books, and try to stick with it until they work. And if you’re finding things a real struggle, feel free to contact me I’ll write back with some additional bits of advice.
Sue Cowley
